The actual factors that are causing stress in your life may or may not be consciously recognized yet, even to yourself. It’s possible that you may be aware of the biggest stressor in your life, but many other smaller stressors can add up over time and have just as significant an impact. It’s even possible that there are large stressors lurking beneath the surface—emotional or psychological burdens that haven’t been fully processed or acknowledged. These hidden sources of stress can manifest in subtle ways, such as irritability, fatigue, or difficulty concentrating, making it all the more important to take time to reflect, assess, and address what might really be affecting your well-being.
To eliminate these stressors, it’s crucial that you take honest inventory of what’s really causing you stress.
What’s Causing Stress in Your Life?
Psychologists have invented a technique called the “hourly checks” to help identify specific stress inducers. Here’s how it works:
Purchase a watch or phone that can be set to ring an alarm every hour of the day. Carry a small notepad and pen with you at all times. This technique is designed to create regular moments of mindfulness and self-awareness throughout the day.
Every time the alarm rings, open the notepad and write down a number from 1 to 10, ranking how stressed you are at that exact moment. The number represents your subjective stress level, with 1 being very relaxed and 10 being extremely stressed. This simple yet effective practice helps you tune in to your emotional state in real-time.
Anytime the number goes up, write down just one or two sentences explaining why you think the number went up. Was it a work deadline? An interaction with someone? A personal issue? A change in your physical or mental state? This step helps pinpoint specific stressors and patterns in your daily routine.
If the number goes down, write one or two sentences on why you think the number went down. Perhaps you took a break, did a breathing exercise, or had a positive interaction that improved your mood. This helps identify activities or moments that may help alleviate stress.
Keep this up for a whole week, ideally recording your stress levels at different times of day, in various situations, and while engaging in different activities. Then look back on your journal to identify trends. You may be surprised to find that certain situations or people consistently cause stress, or that certain strategies or behaviors help reduce stress. This reflective process can empower you to manage stress more effectively and make intentional changes to improve your mental and emotional well-being.
Tallying the Stress Points
You might be surprised at the difference between what you thought was stressing you and what’s actually stressing you.
For example, you might have thought that all your stress was work related, but in reality a disagreement with your spouse may have actually occupied most of your attention. Without writing down what you were really thinking when stress went up, it’d be very hard to identify the source.
Tally up all the different causes of stress in your life and identify the most stress inducing ones.
Eliminating Stress at the Source
Once you know what’s causing you stress, how do you eliminate the stress from your life?
The first step is to take accountability. Any time you’re pointing fingers outside of yourself, you effectively remove all your power to do anything about the situation.
Even if you think your stress is “someone else’s fault,” look at what you could change in the situation.
The next step is to come up with a plan. Write the plan down, even if you don’t show it to anybody.
You don’t have to take action on the plan right away. For example, if your boss’s habit of tossing projects at you last minute is causing you stress but you don’t think it’s the right time to bring it up yet, that’s okay. A lot of stress can be relieved just from knowing that you have a concrete plan to address the issue.
7 Practicall ways to Stop Stressing
Here are some practical exercises to help stop or reduce stress, broken down into easy, actionable steps you can do daily or when you’re feeling overwhelmed:
1. Box Breathing (4-4-4-4)
Why: Calms your nervous system in minutes.
How:
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Inhale for 4 seconds
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Hold your breath for 4 seconds
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Exhale for 4 seconds
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Hold again for 4 seconds
Repeat for 2–3 minutes.
📝 2. Brain Dump
Why: Gets all your worries out of your head and onto paper.
How:
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Set a timer for 5 minutes
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Write everything on your mind—no structure, no editing
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Look at what’s actionable vs. what’s just noise
Do this anytime your mind feels overloaded.
3. Progressive Muscle Relaxation
Why: Helps release physical tension you might not even realize you’re holding.
How:
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Start at your feet and work your way up
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Tense each muscle group for 5 seconds, then release
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Focus on the sensation of letting go
🌿 4. 5-4-3-2-1 Grounding Technique
Why: Anchors you to the present moment when anxiety spikes.
How:
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5 things you can see
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4 things you can touch
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3 things you can hear
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2 things you can smell
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1 thing you can taste
Use this when your mind is racing.
🚶 5. Stress Walk (10–15 min, no phone)
Why: Movement + nature (or just fresh air) = proven mood booster.
How:
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Step outside, walk around your block or office
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No music, no phone—just notice your surroundings
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Focus on your breath or count your steps
🎧 6. Create a “Calm Playlist”
Why: Music can instantly shift your emotional state.
How:
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Make a playlist of songs that make you feel relaxed or safe
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Play it when working, commuting, or winding down
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Bonus: add instrumental or nature sounds
📱 7. Set a “Worry Time”
Why: Helps stop chronic overthinking throughout the day.
How:
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Set a daily 10–15 minute time slot to think about your worries
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If something stressful pops up during the day, mentally “shelve it” for worry time
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Often, you’ll find it doesn’t feel as big when you get there
The last step is, of course, to eliminate the source of the stress.
This often involves having difficult and honest conversations.
Rinse and repeat this process. While you might never get to a place where there’s absolutely no stress in your life, a lot of stressors can be eliminated from your life by following this process.
If you’re feeling stressed, your priority is going to be to manage the symptoms you’re experiencing and start to feel better.
